Yes, “old money” is a cultural concept, not a fashion staple.  No, I haven’t run out of ideas.   Rather, as Tiger Woods’ offered a bleary-eyed apology  for his “transgressions” a few days ago, I archived yet another insta-gajillionaire who’s flopped  shamefully and awkwardly from  his Scrooge McDuck-like pool of riches into the New Money hall of shame.   And my mind began racing…

…about a poem bemoaning the emergence of the young, wealthy elite, Theognis, of sixth century Greece, who wrote: “In former days, there was a tribe who knew no laws nor manners…These men are nobles, now, the gentlemen of old are the trash.” Ol’ Theo’s been out of commission for about 15 centuries, but the debate about of the superiority of New Money versus Old Money still plagues the national conscious- behind, you know, all that other important stuff.  And who said poetry didn’t matter?

As a New Money constituent, I will sadly admit that the case for Old Money has never been sexier.  With the Great Recession pummeling the subprime and exhuming fields of McMansions, it’s all about lineage, lineage, lineage.  Think Rockefeller, Vanderbilt, and probably your buddy from Long Island.  If your grandfather built a trans-continental railroad or discovered oil, then you’re doing just (4)o(1)k, kid.

And admittedly, fist pumps for New Money should be put on hiatus.  The year in review?  Grim, suffice to say.  A guy named Bernie, seemingly overnight, bilks investors out of billions of dollars.  Meanwhile, Average-Joe turned reality deadweight Jon Gosselin leaves his wife, takes the money (and a few Ed Hardy promotional items) and books it. Don’t forget Miley, either, who “partied in the U.S.” all the way to the bank on a mediocre hook.  And to add insult to injury, Jay Gatsby Fitzgerald’s New Money poster boy, still hasn’t wooed Daisy Buchanan.  Life’s raw for the fifteen minute millionaires.

Or is it?  So New Money has had its missteps.  But like trying to piece together your Friday night, there is some light in the gray, fuzzy areas. Take, for example, the cyber geeks that holed themselves  in their dorm rooms, and in a giga-second produced Facebook, Twitter, and countless other internet-startups that are revolutionizing interpersonal communication and the global community.  Or, take hyper-salaried professional athletes who, although making money at what you were never good enough to do for a living, distract from the doldrums of daily life (and ain’t there a lot).

So your social-networking moguls and A-Rods (guy rakes in $33mil/year) may lack the prestige and aura of the old time CEOs, tycoons, and magnates, but who cares?  There is something to be said for “I earned this colossal paycheck  myself, bailout be damned!”  ’Prestige’ is outdated- even if it does allow you to make that car payment (on a BMW…)

Don’t be Theognis- time to usher in the New.  Just keep Jon outside.  Kate, too.