Uncharted: Yoko Ono Brings Bad News
In which Tanya never learns what the soundtrack to her gothic sex nightmare will be
On Monday night, I was invited a number of times to go check out Trust playing at the Magic Stick in Detroit. So I conceded as I tend to do when asked enough times, and, after a brief stop at a juvenile delinquent boys' home, my friend Tanya and I made our way to the venue. We arrived at about 9:20, and proceeded to log our observations over the following hour, at which time, a man resembling Yoko Ono announced that Trust was stuck in Canada, having had issues with their visas. This is the 100% accurate log of what happened over that one hour.
9:20 - Not on the list. MONA. Call onsite contact Robert, Robert doesn't answer, door-lady accepts email as proof and let's us in.
9:22 - "It's ... not crowded" - Tanya, note the room is roped off as to be smaller than the Magic Stick usually is, still not crowded.
9:23 - Tanya wishes she brought ID to drink.
9:24 - Majority of people are drinking PBR in bottles, as noticed by Tanya
9:25 - So many piercings. Do you think we have time to go get pierced before the show starts?
9:27 - Crowd 100% fits the "synth-goth" label, exactly what you would imagine.
9:28 - We go and study the wall of posters / upcoming shows
9:30 - I'm not into stylization, so I spell Trust like that, and not Tr_st
9:30, still - What sounds like a real lady's voice, the opener? We go to the stage, not a real lady
9:31 - Someone in Elizabethan garb arrives [hereafter referred to as Billy Shakes]; Tanya still wants a drink, also thinks the bartender is hot
9:32 - Over in Chicago, our friend Martha tells us Trust came up when her iTunes was on shuffle today.
9:37 - Classic dive bar bathroom; we come up with a book idea, "The Grammar of Graffiti: A Journey of Correction and Self-Discovery," in which we travel around correcting bathroom stall grammar
9:40 - We're not as cool as the other girls in the bathroom, "Bitch I'm different" - Tanya
9:42 - Is this live music I hear? We're still in the bathroom, Tanya is cooling off her foot
9:45 - People leave the venue, presumably coming back
9:46 - There are very real children here, and possibly their dad; also: more people in elaborate clothes - someone wearing a Russian fur hat, someone wearing sunglasses indoors AND at night; Lisbeth Salander arrives
9:49 - Apparently silver face make-up is a thing with this crowd
9:51 - Bartender tells me to tell no one he gave me water, instead, I make a note of it
9:52 - Tanya and I debate definitions and differences between ironic liking and liking ironically
9:54 - Hey, there are Chinese lanterns here
10:00 - No respect for time
10:01 - Spotted: Billy Shakes and Lisbeth hitting it off at the bar
10:02 - The stage! Action on the stage! Yoko Ono brings bad news, explains Trust is stuck in Canada; Billy Shakes screams; Yoko encourages everyone to stick around for opener
10:04 - Jokes are made about Canadians and we leave
10:05 - "But how will I ever know the soundtrack to my gothic sex nightmare?" - Tanya