True Blood Recap: Season 6, Episode 3 "You're No Good"

So this episode was very much a set-up for episodes to come. We've got daddy's little kidnapped girl in the hands of spiteful vampires, Jessica reverting back to her skanky baby vamp days, and Sam doing what Sam does best: creating more trouble for himself. Here's what we've learned from watching Episode 3, "You're No Good":

1. Governor Burrell Is Off His Rocker

What do you get when the governor's wife cheats on him with a vampire? A supernatural holocaust, of course! Thanks to the information provided to Eric by daddy's lil' angel, we found out that mommy wasn't all too pleased with the married life, so she opted for a bit more excitement and hooked herself a new blood-thirsty lover. Now, the jilted husband is seeking revenge on every vamp in the state of Louisiana, and he's created death camps/research facilities to put an end to the entire vampire race. His virginal daughter, on the other hand, is an aspiring "fang banger" whose failed attempts at entrancing Eric with her young, supple beauty still don't stop her from revealing everything she knows about her father's nefarious campaign.

2. Werewolves Are NOT To Be Messed With

Nicole and her friends are idiots. Last I checked, werewolves were fast, territorial, and vicious creatures when provoked. So naturally, Nicole and her crew of morons went to their campsite and attempted to film to entire interaction. With Alcide unable to control his pack, the hunky leader watched as Nicole's buddies were slaughtered by his family and friends. Nicole, however, was rescued by the ever-so-valiant Sam, who apparently thought that shifting into a watchful owl was not suspicious in the least bit. Let's see how next week's episode pans out once the wolves realize that Emma is missing. Good luck clawing your way out of that one, Mr. Merlotte.

3. The Dynamics In The Stackhouse Residence Are A Little, Well, Strange

To begin with, Jason's life is in shambles. Shortly after Sookie and Jason's touching talk about the dangers of idealizing their deceased parents, we spot Jason popping pain pills and eventually completely passing out. Let's hope he's doing ok. As for Grandpa Nile, his hopes of forming a fairy army are destroyed once he sees what Warlow has done to the fairy club that was once impervious to outsiders. Luckily, he encounters fairy Ben whilst on his way home, to Sookie's dismay. And speaking of Sookie, this girl can't seem to catch a break. She's been promised to a Biblical vampire, Bill stormed into her house imploring that she give him her blood to be synthesized, and to top it all off, Ben won't stop creeping into her thoughts and listening in on how she's feeling. Of course, we all know that the annoying Ben will eventually become a love interest, but for now, let's just assume that he's the pesky pea under this fairy princess's metaphorical mattresses.

4. Life Is Politics, Baby

Reverend Newlin is one unlucky guy. As it turns out, Burrell isn't the only True Blood character looking to carry out his revenge. Newlin's ex-wife, the blonde, bubbly Sarah, has become enamored with the governor's new facilities and with torturing vamps, quite especially her former husband. The deluded Barbie doll explains to her ex beau that the vampire death camp is everything they had once imagined and more. Furthermore, she adds religious controversy to the mix when she mentions that she's turned to politics as a result of the pulpit's lack of efficacy in defeating vampires. In other words, the battle between the government and the supernatural world has only just begun.

5. Ginger, Jessica, Tara, and Lafayette Are All Awesome

Poor Ginger: All she wants to do is bone Eric Northman, and just when she thinks that the moment has finally arrived, he denies her. Not only that, but he also brings along some not-so-willing friends. As for Jessica, her slutty schoolgirl outfit should serve as a Halloween inspiration to us all. Then there's Lafayette, who was as wonderful as always. I seriously can't wait to see how he ends up helping Sam. And then there was Tara. Oh Tara, what have you done with your new pet human? You've gone from accomplice to kidnapping to just a straight up kidnapper. I have a feeling nothing good will come of this. Anyways, at least Tara will likely get some more screen time next week. The show has let her story fall to the wayside lately, and I'd love to see that sassy vamp start to show a little humanity again.

6. Sheriff Andy Needs To Watch His Back

Because Billeth is coming for his fairy-licious little girls' blood! In fact, here's a little note to Andy: Sure, your girlfriend's pissed at you for sleeping with some random fairy named Mirella (who, sadly, was likely devoured by Warlow), and sure, you're kind of a mopey, pathetic character, but please, for the love of god, keep an eye on your "baby" girls. Bill, whose self control is definitely questionable at best, vants to steal zer blahd, and if you're not careful, he might steal them away from you for good.

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